the brief i fell toward asked me to look into what identity and the digital self truly is, and i found myself looking into who i really am.
there's much i can turn to, bad memories, terrible memories even, and then a respite between each. one bad thing comes along and then i remember a small freeing feeling but its small, so which falls like a petal against a narrowing breeze and the bad returns.
while describing myself in entirety could be my way forward i feel perhaps the story could be told through something else. my first thoughts when deciphering the brief is how i can explain my mind and myself through another, and so i feel id like to do just that. write a story, a fictional narrative but one i can free myself through. a bedtime story of a girl, a girl? perhaps not; a story of someone who grew up needing to live their life and create themselves through the outlet of a false reality.
How does the way we've lived, cause emotion within us?
at the beginning of this project, i felt very obsessed with that final outcome. i begun my work with only the end stylistic choice in mind without thinking about the process to get there.
you're going to see as i start off dead set with something in mind, and slowly open myself to more as the process continues,
telling stories.
this is what i adore so much in media, i abhorrently focus on fiction and video game stories. being able to immerse a player within a world, and take them from their own allowing them to become a new main character.
its this escapism that I've grown up with, that I'm so interested in. its magic to be able to save people from their own harsh realities at times and i wish to be able to do such a thing, with my work.
but first i wanted to go through some of the more obscure video games out there that exist to tell a story, and how they go about showing, not telling.
my house.wad
here are some screenshots depicting areas within the video game.
essentially the story of this game is about a man dealing with grief. the game goes through his struggles terrible mental health when regarding his this emotions, using his nightmares as reference to the experience the player has - this is what the player will play through. multiple endings with secrets give you positives ends and negative ones this emersion within such a story is why the game itself is so hooking. the story is rich and interesting whilst being told through the players experiences. its truly brilliant. the aesthetic and art work the game creates is truly amazing.
iron lung
the next game i'd like to talk about is called iron lung. the game came out in 2022.
the game falls under the point and click playstyle of a character who's been sent into a blood ocean atop of a moon after a horrific event known as the 'quiet rapture' had taken place. in the story the quiet rapture was a phenomenon in which all life and habitable planets were wiped from the universe, leaving only people on space stations and dead space moons filled with blood left.
the objective is to find anomalies marked on a XY map and photo graph them, the main mechanic is that the player can only see what surround them by taking photos of the area surrounding them with the slow grain like camera. soon into the game the player realises they are not the only being now in this ocean.
the amount of fears the game plays with the small budget it runs with is a sounding. the way it used sound, the way it uses suspense is absolutely incredible. the images you see and hear are utterly horrifying, i found myself getting shivers just thinking about reliving the experience not to mention to the concept of the story. any kind of other worldly subject that takes on space is automatically so scary to me as, as its so unexplainable that's what is so terrifying the fear of the unknown and just how unknown it is.
the aesthetics and the art works are phenomenal too, it all comes together for such a brilliant horror experience, and it will always be on my mind whenever i think about wanting to experiment with horror.
simply playing, or watching someone else play this game scared me more than any horror film ever has.
great videos i watched that i got my info from :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctn8uuvYKIs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A42fANqQ0Pc
unsorted horror
unsorted horror is a collection of 5 short first-person horror games, that revolve around detailed machinery in a dark dystopian setting. created by Mike Klubnika (all free to play on steam)
the other side
our first games world is depicted as a huge underground base type situation, in which our main character is forced to work for a higher up organisation. this seems to be the theme with all five games. i love this theme, its relatively otherworldly and so unlike anything i could picture or experience and i feel like this is what gives it that uncomfortable feeling to people like me. the higher ups explain in game how you should never go to the outside, and how unsafe it is, you must abide by the overarching powers and stay in your place. who knows if they're telling the truth or not? is it worth the chance that they're correct if you try to break for freedom. the questions the game brings up in such a small gaming experience is what makes it so interesting and so unnerving.
the mechanics simply go as the player creating a drill and using it on a reinforced steel wall, separating them from the outside.
if the player plays fast and well enough, the are able to break the seal AND LEAVE THE CONTAINMENT, ONLY TO FIND INT HE BEAUTY OF THE OUTSIDE IS A LIE AND SOMETHING UNDESCRIABLEABLE WAS WAITING FOR THEM, AND THEN THEY DIE.
THE AETHSTETIC, THE COLOUR CHOICES, THE GAMES ART DIRECTION I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT. ITS A SHORT STORY THAT REALLY IS ABOUT SHOWING US A GLIMSE OF THIS WORLD AND IF ANYTHING IT JUST MAKE STHE PLAYER FILL THEIR OWN MINDS WITH QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS WORLD AND WHERE THE FUTURE GOES FOPR IT.
CARBON STEEL
the 2nd game has the player in a similar type space, performing tests on an unknown monster like specimen that we never see. the objective is to calculate the correct dosages of anesthetiser to give to the specimen to perform said tests. it had you experiences a foul grungy cell to sleep in and unnerves you with the use of sound design. you're in a similar setting to the last game as in, the same world - this is a new main character in the same world as the last game expect you have another job to work on in this underground horrible looking world.
the game ends with you performing your tests correctly and being hit with anaesthesia yourself, and waking up in the same cell the monster has been trapped in before they undergo the same testing on you. the other ending goes if you are onto of noticing smaller secrets, when looking through the files on the pc that explains the correct dosages for the anastasis, you'll find a floppy disk that explains to you how to escape. with the help of the mechanic if you correctly put yourself in front of the right door, it will open and allow you to go with him into to the darkness. you've escaped, but to where? what freedom lies for you in this underground holding cell. what is freedom when the outside is inhabitable. those controlling you down there will always be able to find you.
again the story is small but gripping and just tells us more about this universe that Klubnika has created. once again leaving the player with more questions than answers.
concrete tremour
the 3rd game of the five is the most unique. as far as my information goes the direct link between this game and the rest, is less obvious. it falls under a similar aesthetic to the other games just with a washed out colour palette of only black and white - and i feel this really helps separate it from the rest.
the objective of this game begins with the player experiencing the inside of these soviet flats- seeing that they only eat from a bizarre looking contraption that absolutely is not real food. it gees a small show of the people and the situations they have living inside the apartment blocks. it then fades out to the main objective of the game which is someone sat at a desk looking over said flats. the main premise of the game is then revealed to be similar to that of a childish game of battleships, expect the player and the opponent are trying to wipe out one another's belonging soviet apartment blocks via bombing. no matter if the player wins or looses the end is the same. you pull out a gun from the left side desk, and shoot yourself - ready for the next person to come in and take your place in the game.
Tartarus engine
my personal favourite of the three, Tartarus engine takes us back to the underground commune of the first two games, but this time finally introduces other people. other humans that live down here with the player.
the concept in this game shows the underground world begun in the 1980s, and there lies a super computer that's slowly been more and more perfected over the years: the Tartarus engine. however humanities use for the computer is foul, we find out its only use has been to perfect psychological TORTURE FOR INMATES AND SUCH. ESSETNIAL HOOKS HUMANS UP TO IT AND TRANSFORMS THEM INTO A DIGITAL CELL WERE FOR THE INMATE IT CAN FEEL LIKE YEARS OF CAPTURE BUT IN REALITY IS ONLY A FEW SECONDS. WHY HAS HUMANITYS ONLY USE FOR SUCH A POWERFUL CREATION, BECOME ONE JUST FOR CONTROL AND TORTURE?
THE PLAYER IS TO, OVER THE COURSE OF A FEW DAYS, SLOLWY INBED VIRUSUE INTO THE COMPUTOR IN THE HOPES OF HYJACKING IT. HOWEVER IT TURNS OUT THE GROUP ARE UNEDUCATED AND DONT TRUTLY KNOW WHAT THE VIRUSES WILL DO. AND IN SO WHEN THEY HOOK THEMSELVES UP INTO THE MACHINE ACCDIENTL;Y CURSE THEMSELVES TO CONSTANTLY BEING THROWN INTO AND OUT OF A SIMULTION, FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG.
THIS GAME JOINS IN ON THE WORKING AGAINST THIS HIGHER POWER BUT THIS TIME PURELY FOR THE PLAYERS OWN SELFISH GAIN, NOT FOR THE HOPE OF SURVIVAL OR FREEDOM.
THE CONCEPT IS SO COOL , AND ONCE AGAIN TERRIFIYING. ITS UNNEVRING AND OTHERWIORDLY AND SUCH DISTILS QUESTIONS AND PROVOAKES CONVERATIONS WHEN REGARDING ITS PURPOSE ONCE AGIAN. THE STORY IS WELL WRITTEN AND FILLED WITH SECRETS LIKE THE REST.
PETSCOP
Petscop is a fake video game, essentially it’s a YouTube series that involves what seems like someone filming their play through of the game for someone else that they know, not of let’s say a YouTube audience which is what usually is addressed when in gaming videos.
Basically the creator animated and created an entire video game that is not playable, it’s an animation of a universe where this game exists. The game begins shown to be an unfinished beta. The vibes are happy and sweet the aesthetic is bright and joyful it seems to almost be like that of a children’s game. As the main character progresses he finds an entirely new area of the game where the rest of the series continues in. It’s called the new maker plane.
The videos then range from longer and shorter of this player going through this strange terrifying area and trying to solve why on earth it had been programmed. There is a lot of lore explanations online but the true story remains unknown just that it perhaps is explaining a child and their traumatising experiences before they die.
The story is hard to grasp but it’s definitely there and what I love about this one is how it actually isn’t a game but an animation someone has created to pretend to be one. This is perhaps how I could present my story.
the Mandela catalogue
this is an analogue horror YouTube series explaining the events happening in a made up city of Mandela. it explores these beings called alters who look and sound like humans but have something just abut strange to them. the way they kill is essentially by explaining incomprehensible information to human beings that drives them insane so they end up taking their own lives. very terrifying, very amazing art direction.
this was simply a little play around to create something in that classic photo by photo mandela catalouge style. the image on the right used to be a photo of me.
really i didn't have much direction, i had started by wanting to create my own analogue horror video but i wasn't too sure how to go about it yet.
with the project being about identity and digital self i began messing around with how the concept of mirrors can explain a lot of emotion and feeling via their presence.
at this point i began messing about again with perhaps a main character if i was to try the fake video game idea similar to petscop.
idea generating began
at this point i had decided i wanted to create either an animation or comic styled book.
so i had started with coming up with 3 different stories regarding peoples relationships with how they view their digital selves. 1 being about a girl who only sees herself as her digital self, another abut a by who des anything he can to wipe himself from the digital world and of someone who has newly begun using digital media.
my first doodles and designs were for the first story, one i liked the most and resinated with the best.
the story in some way explores a girl who's struggled a lot in her past with her personal identity due to the abuse she experienced from her mother. as she grew she ran away to attempt streaming herself online and slowly turned into the character that is this digital self, when in reality she is a blank slate who has forgotten who she is.
omori - developed by omocat
after i had begun getting ideas, i wanted to use this game for art style inspiration, but whilst at that i decided i should play the game instead myself since i found the artstyle very unique. this game somewhat changed how i view telling a story through a game. because it was such a rich, amazing experience. i felt like i learnt so much just from playing through it. the subtly within how the deep depressing story is told, and how it also uses that concept of escapism. its about the main character trying to escape the real world, simply to stay living within his own mind. which i can relate to so well. this could be why the game resonated with me so much, and it really helped me rethink my approach to this story.
essentially my inspiration and creation came from the experience of this game. i could genuinely argue this game's story and art direct actually changed my life and how i will approach story writing and character creation forever.
these are the many character portraits of the main character you see when fighting through the game.
the game revolves around emotion, which is such a rich choice since the entire story is about the main character being completely numb and emotionless due to how hard he's suppressed his terrible trauma.
the game is about acceptance and allowing yourself to trust the people around you that care about you. the way the game uses to much non digital art is relatively uncommon for most games these days- that boiling technique used full force and it works so well.
i played through the game with my boyfriend, and i wanted to just add a few snippets of my reactions to events in the game, along with showing how to art effects the game play.
i thought it worth while to show omocats amazing work with the whole movement of small cut scenes, or within the 8-bit rpg side of the game. truly an enhancing experience and a brilliant artist i will always look back to.
i enjoyed the way it balanced humour, tragedy and sadness. and i think you can tell via me in time real reactions to happenings in the game.
whats next? creating my story of course!
n with i did a deep dive into a story board where i very roughly planned out the main events to happen
after hours of longwinded drawing of storyboard frames i came to the conclusion of what the story will be about and the events of it.
the story goes, Bella or so is the name of the streamer side of the girl, finishes up her stream for the night but keep seeing strange figures in reflections. at times the pov will show how a lot of her mirrors in the house have blankets over them to signify her distaste of looking at herself without her fake selves hair and make up. she goes to sleep but due to a nightmare wakes up and sees a cat with a fishing hook in its hand. it asks her where it can fish then begins to look in the bathroom. confused by this she follows the cat into the bathroom. the cat monologues at her and explains how she needs to accept herself. in doing so he floods the bathroom via leaving the sink of, Bella tries to turn it off but it doesn't work up until she's completely underwater. the cat the pulls out a plug and she gets caught up in the water current and is taken down the drain in the middle of the room.
when she comes to shes falling deeper down water, she sees photos of herself disintegrates as she falls. at the time of drawing this i had a very different ending to what i ended up going with but ill still explain here. she is met with herself being told off by her mother when she was younger. in fear she wants to leave until her digital self appears and walks up to her mother embracing her. showing that this fake version of herself is something her mother would have wanted her to do after all this repression. her mother wanted her to be something she was not, and this symbolism is to show that her mother would approve of her throwing her real self away. upset with this she takes a knife and stabs her fake self, which looks back to her and turns out to be herself.
her head then explodes.
she wakes up finding out it was all in her mind. she sees her cat, pets it then calls up someone special. ready to talk about her issues.
after completing that rough plan i wanted to connect more with my main character, so i brought a piece to larger scale using myself as reference. i wanted it to look like the painting was its own mirror.
final character designs
at this point i decided on Bella wearing a small comfy nightwear similar to what i wear to sleep.
and the cat character was also fully designed and to be named kitty consequences.
the cat essentially is her inner voice manifested into real life as one of the few things she really loves and cares for, which is her cat.
lighting and colour practice
i messed with digital to see how i could ensure colour looked underwater and how lighting could convey emotion better.
live drawing works to help with anatomy practice with bella
final storyboard (its very long)
(to be read left top then downwards)
now this was very taxing. at this point in the year i had spent a huge amount of hours on my place project and this project was left in the back of the bag so to speak for some time. i came back to it much later in the year to redraw this story board and i completely changed the part after bella falls down the drain.
i changed it so yes she falls to the bottom of what seems to be the ocean and is guided by a ghost shark. a fish that lives commonly in very deep waters
she sees far away her digital self laying unmoving covered in barnacles as if she had died at the bottom of the ocean years ago. this shakes bella as she runs away quickly in fear. she falls over and is guided once again into a cave where she sees the figure that has been stalking her besides a huge clam.
now clams usually hold something of value within them, in alot of medias they always show something special or expensive inside. when bella makes contact with it, she fines her younger self.
confused and scared the younger self asks bella who they are. this causes bella to panic in fear and stress. but before she can succumb her child self tries to console her, this inspires her to hug the girl and cry her younger self instructs her to wake up and there she is in the same ended now awake from her slumber.
ghost shark!
as at this point there was little hope for any kind of fully finished piece so to speak. i lacked the time to animate anything and same for making the entire thing into a comic book, there was simply too much content. so i opted for the next best thing. id colour out 3 double page spreads to get a feel for what the entire thing could have looked like. its still alot of content and i suppose i could have just done it as this was a small sneak peak of what would be the fully published comic later. a trailer? of sorts.
here is the process of colour each of the chosen pages and what they looked like before i added colour scheming and lighting.
final page outcome
parts within the process
final page outcome
process between colour
final page outcome
the more i worked with water the harder it was to get the effect right, so here's the process and trial and error
final page outcome
colour process
final page outcome
process
final page outcome
when it came to how i decided on colour scheming and lighting, which were very impoant aspects of the colouring process i looked and used inspiration from my other projects specifically the liminal space lighting heres are some examples.
i think you can really see the inspiration when it comes to lighting and colour. the point is these spaces aren't real just like where bella is, so where the light keeps originating from is a mystery making it more omminous.
the double page spreads
the process of creating the front page cover
final front page outcome and decided name.
I ALSO REALLY WANTED TO ADD MUSIC INSPIRTAION ASWELL.
MUSIC MEANS ALOT TO ME AND THE VIBE CREATED THROUGH SOUND IS ALWAYS A BRILLAINT INSPIRATION TO FEEL A TONE OR SETTING. THREE SPESFIIC SONGS I LISTNED TO ON REPEAT WHEN DRAWING THE WATER SCENES REALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE IF THIS WAS ANIMATED THEY WOULD ABSOLTELY FIT TO BE THE BACKING TRACK.
and as the title of my work will tell you they inspired it deeply as the name of one of the songs is aquifer, HC0:hcl and sinking. all composed by pedro silver
aquifer
HCO:hcl
sinking
i animated the water on this piece because i loved it so much. a small idea on how it could've looked animated.
really this was just a small experiment.
in the end i understood i perHAPS WAS EXTREMLY AMBIOUS WITH THE STORY I WANTED TO TELL, REALLY I SHOULDVE WRITTEN THEN STORY THEN CHOSEN MY FAVOURTIE PARTS COLOUR AND GIVE IT AWAY AS SOME SORT OF TEASER FOR A BOOK THTA WAS GOING TO BE RELEASED, WHICH IS WHAT I ENDED UP DOING!
I EDITED THE WORK ONTO A BOOK FORMAT TO TEASE HOW THE FINISH PRODUCT WOULD LOOK LIKE WHEN IT WAS TO BE PUBLISHED AND SOLD IN STORES.
final thoughts on this project.
THIS PROJECT WAS A SLOW BURN, I STARTED OFF STRONG HOWEVER I WAS VERY DEADSET IN FINAL OUTCOMES AND MAKING SURE I RAN THOUGH EVERYTHING PERFECTLY WITH Little OPTIONS OF CHANGE OR EXPIMENTATION. I DECIDED TO WRITE A STORY THAT I THOUGHT WOULD SEND MEANING AND ALSO BE QUIET GRIPPING. HOWEVER WITH THIS, THE STORY ITSELF WAS VERY LONG AND I THINK WITH HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO FINALISE THE THREE DOUBLE PAGE SPREADS ID HAVE NEEDEED A LOT MORE TIME, AND WITH TACKLING TWO OTHER PROJECTS THAT TIME WAS NOT AVALIBLE.
I LOVE IT FOR WHAT IT HAS TURNED OUT TO BE AND I FEEL IVE Learnt ALOT ABOUT COLOUR SCHEMING TO CREATE EMOTION AND SETTING. I LOVED MESSING WITH LIGHTING TO ADD TO DRAMATICS AND WHILE IT WAS HARD TO GET THE EFFECT DOWN, WATER IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS TO SEE DEPICTED IN ANY MEDIA, SO WORKING WITH THAT WAS REALLY FUN TO ME AND I LOVE HOW EASILY WATER CAN EXPLAIN EMOTION JUST AS COLOUR DOES.
